I have always identified with Walter Mitty, the fictive character portrayed by Danny Kaye in the film, "Secret Life of Walter Mitty." Mitty lived in a world of fantasy where he was a hero in his own mind. He could be a spy, a fighter pilot, a detective . . . Perhaps my own life has been more realistic than Mr. Mitty`s in that I had the opportunity to perform in a number of roles that allowed me, at times, to become a semi-hero in other people`s lives. Whatever the case may be, I`ve enjoyed the ride.

Perhaps Mitty was like a lot of people I know who had fulfillment in their lives only through daydreams of adventures they never had the opportunity to play out on a real life stage. I have known many people whose best days were always in the past.

Fotolog has been a stage where I was able to play back some of the moments of my life and I have enjoyed doing so. Pictures, both mine and ones I found, have triggered memories I have treasured and enjoy sharing. "Montage-a-Google gives me the power to find pics of strange and ancient events that give rise to memories over different eras of my life. I wonder if Walter Mitty wold have continued playing out dreams if he had been put on hold by a caprecious server or had his words blown away in the ether by a falty upload?

I am nearing the end of my patience with fotolog. Much as I have enjoyed playing here and sharing with all of you, my newfound friends, I have seen more of the people I have enjoyed communicating with leave for other pastures such as flickr. If it lived up to its full potential, there is nothing in the world like fotolog, especially if you want to communicate as much as you want to post photographs. Flickr is a pale imitation except it is easy to post without the "bugs" making life difficult. To me, I`d rather nail my pics on a telephone pole for all the connectedness that is there.

But, when I try to go to other fotlogs, I get a spinning wheel and no connection. Often when I try to post, nothing happens. When I try to access my friends/favorites, I am often told that it is being updated. When I open my own homepage, it takes so long to load that the picture I had planned to upload is already outdated! Many of the people I shared thoughts with are gone. I do not get the urge to write when there will be little or no response.

Unlike Walter Mitty, I do not live my life in a world of fantasy. I create fantasies in my writing becasue it is fun, not becasue I will try to live in the sandcastles i construct in midair. I live in reality and, for the most part, it has been a wonderful journey. What I don`t need is frustration. I walked away from jobs and friendships because they became more maintenance than pleasure. I believe in giving everything and everyone in my life a fair chance to prove their worthiness. I have given fotolog more than a fair chance and I believe that I have contributed far more than I have taken. At this point, it has become so one-sided that I am doing my Cheshire Cat imitation as my contribution to the Walter Mitty archives. Soon, all that will be left is the smile for I will be gone.

I will miss many of you with whom I`ve shared a moment or two and we have become involved a little in each others` lives. But, there is less reason to stay each day. The frustrations outweigh the positives.

I`ll contemplate upon this decision for a while before I act upon it by using the delete button.

Kerpocketa, kerpocketa, kerpocketa . . . .

On May 30 2005 Edit

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